Sharpening Concepts of What Works (02:05)
Julie Gottman introduces William Bumberry and Vagdevi Meunier who will be assisting during the lecture. This lecture will explore how to evaluate and change a relationship.
Gottmans' New Love Lab (05:29)
The Gottman Institute gathers narrative "Stories of Us." Then couples have a conflict or "events of the day" discussion while being monitored. Therapists synchronize video, physiology, coded emotion and perception to predict a marriage's happiness, stability, and divorce potential.
What Predicts Future of a Relationship? (04:37)
Masters begin a conflict discussion with a gentle start up and create connection. Homeostasis couples experience a "5-to-1" positive to negative ratio during conflict. Unhappy couples cannot turn a negative interaction into something positive.
Phase Space Plots of Relationships (15:29)
Gottman describes how to create the diagram of a couple's conversation using attractors and vectors. See footage of Amanda and Patrick undergoing a conflict discussion about her anxiety and depression. Change the eight "sliders" to change the relationship dynamic, including start-up, influence, power of positive emotion, negative emotion, and repair attempts.
Sound Relationship House (06:35)
Couples diagram love maps and undergo 24 hours of monitoring at the Gottman Institute. Successful couples turn toward each other when one is making a bid for attention; 69% problems couples experience are chronic and never disappear.
Conflict and Physiology (12:04)
When one is physiologically flooded, the individual cannot hear and experiences tunnel vision; calm physiology predicts the future of a relationship. Use a pulse oximeter to assess heart rates during counseling sessions. The prefrontal cortex handles problem-solving and the processing of information.
Interventions: Positive Startup (07:00)
The first three minutes of a conflict predicts how the rest of the discussion will proceed as well as how successful the couple's relationship is six years later. Teach individuals how to begin a conflict with "I feel" about something and a positive need. In the "Dreams within Conflict" intervention one partner asks the other six questions to deepen their understanding.
Interventions: Turning Toward and Accepting Influence (05:28)
Encourage an unhappy couple to strengthen connection bonds and emotional attunement. Couples who maintain positive sexual relationships over a long period of time kiss passionately for no reason at all, say I love you daily, give compliments, and play together. Remain good friends and take weekly dates.
Interventions: Repair (02:08)
Help couples repair before a negative aspect escalates. "The aftermath of a fight" intervention helps partners fix past emotional injuries using five steps.
Building Trust (12:13)
The magic trio is calming physiology, building trust, and establishing commitment. Trust is built in small everyday moments. Carrying capacity allows individuals to not flood, be present and appreciate your partner during times of conflict; loneliness causes people to have affairs.
Building Commitment (19:48)
Gottman therapy incorporates both pragmatic and depth approaches. A healthy relationship exists in the space between trust, intimacy, and commitment. Dissolution occurs after betrayals; distrust happens when an individual wins at the expense of their partner.
Making Couples Therapy Work (02:10)
Teach patients to calm physiology, engage in positive startups, turn towards intimacy, and incorporate early repair strategies.
Q/A: Working with a Narcissist (04:16)
Many individuals show signs of borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Adapt the session to help those who exhibit symptoms to understand how to empathize. Dan Wile's methodology incorporates the psychologist assuming the role of a partner in a relationship, demonstrating to the listener how to better communicate.
Q/A: Issues of Addiction (04:30)
The addiction manifests as a third party in the relationship; explore issues of conflict management and friendship. Working it through in couple's therapy demonstrates better results than the 12 step model.
Q/A: Treating One Partner (04:20)
Avoid colluding on a diagnosis of the partner not attending therapy. A reluctant partner feels criticized and treated badly; try calling him or her and ask them to attend one session alone.
Q/A: Order of Sessions (06:05)
Do not start by telling the husband to be more committed. Create empathy and build trust during sessions. After completing an assessment, prioritize interventions based upon the couple's feelings at that moment.
Q/A: Giving Clients Hope (04:37)
Unhappiness occurs when people feel stuck. Find the common ground within underlying issues. Esther Perel needs to examine the research about couples and intimacy.
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